On endings

Of all the things I love-hate the most, it's endings. I hate endings because of the sense of foreboding and out-of-this-world level of anxiety it brings. But I love it because almost always, it turns out to be anti-climactic, relief replaces the foreboding and anxiety ("it's not so bad after all"), and then we move on to the next chapter. Breaking up is such a case. Graduating, getting a job, and then changing jobs, too. I'm pretty sure moving to another country will be the same, but now I'm still in the hate part of it. 


Leaving is 7 months away. Half of me wants to postpone it for a year or two. The other half just wants to go the airport, hop on a plane, and go.


[I'm supposed to be looking for grants / scholarships and accommodation, but I can't concentrate on anything because of this foreboding and anxiety shit.]